Parenting Daily

Hello, All!

Very sorry for my absence from the blog the past few days. I was sidelined by a very nasty virus that (I think) is just starting to break now. Hopefully I stocked you up with enough posts before my absence that you haven’t been longing terribly for ParentingDaily.

But I will be back shortly!

Until then, go do something fun with your teen or for your teen!

Sparknotes. Remember the yellow and black study guides we all used to buy when we either a) didn’t want to read one of our assigned Eng/List books or b) needed to have someone interpret Shakespeare for us? Well, I’m sure they still exist, even though I can’t for the life of me remember what they’re called. But now that it’s the twenty-first century and we’re online, so are the study guides! Meet, SparkNotes. Online study guides. Free membership account. And it’s from Barnes and Noble. So, it’s a brand name you’re already familiar with, you know the information is going to be responsible and trustworthy, and there’s probably a way to buy stuff from bn.com when/if you need to supplement the free materials. I also find the website to be far more attractive than the black & yellow stripes that always reminded me of a scary road sign!

I’m not a coffee girl (well, occasionally I enjoy a refreshing iced coffee or cap, but that’s very rare) so I’ve never been bitten by the Starbucks craze. But all I have to do is log onto one of my favorite celeb gossip sites (shout out to PopSugar.com!) to see any number of young Hollywood teens partaking in the java fad. On a sidenote: is coffee really a fad? Probably not. At any rate, Miley Cyrus is big on Starbucks, as are any number of the gals from the High School Musical movies, Gossip Girl, etc. And if I’m noticing it, your teens are noticing it. Heck, they may already been well into their coffee addictions already. So why not put one of their passions to good use? Starbucks has loads of online information, hire at age 16 on up, and even offer benefits depending on how many hours you work. Now, the benefits part is probably not that important to your teen right now, but if it’s a job they stick with through high school and college (and what college town doesn’t have a Starbucks?), having a job with benefits will come in handy while they’re looking for “real work.” So, check it out and pass along the info to your teen. Maybe they’ll even be able to bring home some free joe for you!

Well, if we haven’t heard enough about these cases yet, there’s another one: female teacher charged with having sex with a minor student, possibly two. Every time I hear these stories, my (figurative) jaw drops. As my parents can attest, I was never attracted to high school boys even when I was in high school. I’ve always been more interested in men older than me, though the age difference has gone from 5 and 6 years older down to months now that I’m in my 30s. At any rate, the idea of being 60 years old, like Adrienne Laflamme, and having sex with a 17 year old and possibly a 14 year old is just beyond comprehension to me. But, perhaps, that is why I am not a pedophile. What makes this particular story even more nauseating, if that’s possible, is that this woman was a teacher at a juvenile detention facility. So you’re teaching kids who, for the most part, are already very distrustful of authority and then this woman abuses that further by raping these kids. There are also allegations of drug use during the trysts. I don’t know what to say. Having worked for so long with staff in facilities of this type, I explained over and over to parents that the staff can be trusted, their kids will be safe, etc. But it’s one story like this that will erase all of that from everyone’s minds. It’s a crap deal for these kids, especially. Who are they ever going to trust? Sad sad and sadder.

Have you heard of Visa Buxx? It’s like a pre-paid credit card for kids and teens that parents can put money on. Up until now, I’ve never really investigated it. It didn’t seem like anything I’d be interested in helping my kids get, since I find the idea of a child having a credit card (of any sort!) to be distasteful, to say the least. But I know that I depend heavily on my debit card and, sure, that comes straight out of my checking account, but it’s kind of the same concept. So I looked up the Visa Buxx tonight and apparently there are two versions—one for 12 years old and under, and one for 13 years and up. Pay Jr. runs both programs and you can see details here. My point in bringing it up isn’t so much to say whether it is good or bad, but to debate both sides. On the one hand, I would like my children to be prepared for what the world is like, and it seems it’s an increasingly plastic world. On the other hand, having plastic instead of cash is kind of a disconnect. Can you learn the true value of money when you aren’t dealing in cold, hard cash? What are your thoughts?  

Ever since my mother first spoke of Adirondack style chairs, I’ve been enchanted with what they bring to mind. Cool weather, lots of green and trees, the mountains, hiking, sitting on the porch of a log cabin or inside in front of a warm fire in colder weather. So today’s teen job du jour is an obvious one: year-round opportunities at the Adirondack Mountain Club. Oohh… Ahhh.  With a staff of 60 and lodging in cabins or Platform Tents, this is another job that I would have loved as a teen or 20-something. Jobs include: North Country operations crew members, Internships, Naturalist, and Wilderness Trip Leader. Pay is every other week, employees get a free one-year membership to the Club, free use of kayaks and canoes on Heart Lake, and ski and snow shoes free mid-week to staff. Lots of recreational activities await during free time. So check out more here and let your teen know!

If you have a teen daughter who is plus-size, you may be very familiar with the frustrations of finding cute, teen-appropriate clothing styles in her size. Add to this the fact that many a teen girl, regardless of size, can be very self-conscious trying on clothing in stores, and shopping for new clothes can go from being fun to being an exercise in crisis management.

Enter Torrid. Torrid is an online-clothing store for plus-size fashions, geared primarily towards teen and young adult gals. Don’t let the name scare you too much (if you’re anything like me, the word “torrid” brings to mind paperback Harlequin novels!). The site is cute, the fashions are affordable, and there’s even a sale going on through today.

Your teen can create a wishlist from the privacy of their own home and then, when they’re ready to purchase, you can review their choices, sizes, etc. before you (I do NOT advise turning your credit or debit card over to the teen to enter the information because they may over-spend or, even better, write down your info to use another time!) enter the information for payment and shipping.

Tip: For easy shopping at holidays, birthdays, or any time you want to buy your teen a little something, wishlists are great. Ask your teen to give you a list of places where they have wishlists (amazon.com is great for books, DVDs, and music) and then you can simply pull up the info and purchase some items you already know they like!

If your teen likes children and has significant nanny or babysitting experience, he/she may be interested in a position as a nanny or a “manny” (slang for male nanny). But beware if doing an internet search for these job opportunities. I came across one ad that sounded delightful—part time care of a three year old, car provided for use while working (presumably for taking the child to the park or on errands, appointments, etc.), a room available should the nanny need to (or want to, per the ad) sleep over, and the potential to eventually take a vacation with the family “as our last nanny did.”

But the skeptic in me said, “Check out their names, find verification that they actually exist.” And while I found plenty of people with their names, I didn’t find any proof that they existed as a couple or in the positions they claimed to be in. Further research brought me to this site, which highlights the nanny-scams they know about. Sure enough, the particular job ad I had found has been in circulation as a scam, under different names, for awhile.

Lesson learned. Do your research. Use a reputable website. 4nannies.com even has a page on safe job searching for nannies and protecting your teen from scams. Local searches in your hometown’s newspaper, face-to-face interviews, and talking to other nannies/mannies can also go a long way towards protecting your teen from that scam job that just seemed too good to be true (and was!).

Funny or not? Regardless, a Minnesota teen (age 19) was charged with a felony on Thursday for attempting to sell his vote on eBay, for a minimum of $10. Perhaps this college student didn’t pay attention in his high school government class. Back in the 1920s, some people would “sell” their votes for alcohol, which is why (I believe) no one is allowed to sell alcohol while the polls are open. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong on that. Selling your vote for money is a no-no.

When contacted by authorities, the teen claimed it had been a joke and had removed the listing. I’m torn. I can see how a teen might find this funny. One of those, “well, it’s funny to me, so it’s good enough!” type of deals. Plus some interest in seeing if anyone would react to it. Sometimes people (not just teens!) do things just for attention and to see how others react. This could have been one of those times. I don’t know.

Considering this kid is now facing up to $10,000 in fines and 5 years imprisonment, perhaps he’ll think through his “jokes” next time?

Several months ago, I attended a presentation put on by Clark Flatt, founder of The Jason Foundation. In 1997, Mr. Flatt lost his youngest son, Jason (age 16), to suicide. As many people do in times of tragedy, he looked for answers and studied teen suicide. He was alarmed to find out the statistics of suicide attempts and completed suicides (approximately 100 teens per week commit suicide). He made it a goal to educate other parents, teachers, adults, and students about the warning signs. One of the most unique things about Mr. Flatt’s foundation stems from his previous career as a corporate executive. Though he no longer works for a business corporation, he retained that knowledge and those contacts. He has put them to good use, getting corporate sponsorships for his Jason Foundation products. This makes them free-of-charge to schools and others who can benefit from their suicide prevention training. Check out the website and look for the “parent” side of the triangle, or click here.