Jul 12 2008
Hello, All!
Very sorry for my absence from the blog the past few days. I was sidelined by a very nasty virus that (I think) is just starting to break now. Hopefully I stocked you up with enough posts before my absence that you haven’t been longing terribly for ParentingDaily.
But I will be back shortly!
Until then, go do something fun with your teen or for your teen!
Jul 10 2008
I’m not a coffee girl (well, occasionally I enjoy a refreshing iced coffee or cap, but that’s very rare) so I’ve never been bitten by the Starbucks craze. But all I have to do is log onto one of my favorite celeb gossip sites (shout out to PopSugar.com!) to see any number of young Hollywood teens partaking in the java fad. On a sidenote: is coffee really a fad? Probably not. At any rate, Miley Cyrus is big on Starbucks, as are any number of the gals from the High School Musical movies, Gossip Girl, etc. And if I’m noticing it, your teens are noticing it. Heck, they may already been well into their coffee addictions already. So why not put one of their passions to good use? Starbucks has loads of online information, hire at age 16 on up, and even offer benefits depending on how many hours you work. Now, the benefits part is probably not that important to your teen right now, but if it’s a job they stick with through high school and college (and what college town doesn’t have a Starbucks?), having a job with benefits will come in handy while they’re looking for “real work.” So, check it out and pass along the info to your teen. Maybe they’ll even be able to bring home some free joe for you!
Jul 07 2008
Ever since my mother first spoke of Adirondack style chairs, I’ve been enchanted with what they bring to mind. Cool weather, lots of green and trees, the mountains, hiking, sitting on the porch of a log cabin or inside in front of a warm fire in colder weather. So today’s teen job du jour is an obvious one: year-round opportunities at the Adirondack Mountain Club. Oohh… Ahhh. With a staff of 60 and lodging in cabins or Platform Tents, this is another job that I would have loved as a teen or 20-something. Jobs include: North Country operations crew members, Internships, Naturalist, and Wilderness Trip Leader. Pay is every other week, employees get a free one-year membership to the Club, free use of kayaks and canoes on Heart Lake, and ski and snow shoes free mid-week to staff. Lots of recreational activities await during free time. So check out more here and let your teen know!
Jul 05 2008
Several months ago, I attended a presentation put on by Clark Flatt, founder of The Jason Foundation. In 1997, Mr. Flatt lost his youngest son, Jason (age 16), to suicide. As many people do in times of tragedy, he looked for answers and studied teen suicide. He was alarmed to find out the statistics of suicide attempts and completed suicides (approximately 100 teens per week commit suicide). He made it a goal to educate other parents, teachers, adults, and students about the warning signs. One of the most unique things about Mr. Flatt’s foundation stems from his previous career as a corporate executive. Though he no longer works for a business corporation, he retained that knowledge and those contacts. He has put them to good use, getting corporate sponsorships for his Jason Foundation products. This makes them free-of-charge to schools and others who can benefit from their suicide prevention training. Check out the website and look for the “parent” side of the triangle, or click here.
Jul 05 2008
Plurk is a new kind of microblogging site. Blogging= what I do on this site, and what other people do on sites you probably read. Microblogging= itty bitty blogs, usually around 150 characters or less that typically state what a user is doing/thinking/reading/writing/feeling, etc. at that particular moment. Twitter is one of the most popular micro-blogging sites, but hasn’t attracted much in the way of a teen audience. Plurk, with its funky graphics, “cliques” (groups), and karma (akin to earned points, which earn different features for Plurk users), looks to be the forerunner in attracting the much-desired teen demographic. So, check it out, Mom and Dad. Let the kiddos know about it if you approve (but make sure you know their usernames and check up on them to see what they’re plurking about!).
Jul 05 2008
18 year olds on up can apply to work at a resort near Yellowstone! Pahaska Tepee is hiring breakfast line staff, front desk staff, maintenance, and a gas station attendant. Workers can live in dorm-style housing for $10/day, (that includes food!). If your teen has an adventurous spirit, would like to see some great scenery in another part of the world, get paid bi-weekly (overtime is paid for every hour over 40 at time & a half), and still keep in touch with everyone back home (free WiFi for employees!), this may be a great job for them to check out.
The full job listing can be found here and they can apply online. There’s even a bonus if they complete their end-of-season contract! Three references, preferably work-related, are needed. Resumes and references can also be emailed to Bob Coe at: employment@pahaska.com
Jul 05 2008
Hello, Faithful Readers!
I hope you are enjoying this holiday weekend and not spending the whole time fighting with grumpy teens or checking things off your to-do list. Make sure you take time to stretch your legs out, enjoy the warmth of the sun, and just relax!
Wanted to let you know that some exciting changes are coming to Parenting Daily! Every once in a while it’s good to shake things up and try on new features, looks, etc. So starting very soon (perhaps today if I can fit it in between putting my feet up, feeling the sun, etc!) Parenting Daily will have a new look, new daily features, more posts, and more information.
I want Parenting Daily to be a place where readers can check more than once a day, can find favorite categories they look for each day, and can suggest to me ways to improve the site. So, please, don’t hesitate to comment! If you don’t like something, let me know. I may not change it for one person (unless you’re really persuasive!) but if lots of people have the same concern, it’s definitely worth a re-think.
I realize change is hard for some and I hope to make the new changes easy to live with. Just bear with me, don’t give up, and use the same patience you’ve been practicing with your teens!
Happy Weekend! See you soon!
Jul 04 2008
Happy Independence Day to my American readers! Let’s take a moment to reflect on the positives of this day for teens.
For one, it is a great time to review some history lessons. American presidents, wars, the Boston tea party, etc. You know, if you’re feeling educational.
It’s also a great time to reminisce. My mom’s favorite Fourth of July story was the kid she knew who closed his hand around a firecracker and blew his hands to bits. Good cautionary tale, though. I’ve never gotten close to fireworks beyond sparklers and those snap things that you can throw at the ground.
It’s also a wonderful time to seize the opportunity to talk about neighborly courtesy. I think I’ve mentioned before that I, personally, am not a fan of noisy stereos in homes, cars, outside, etc. If I can hear it in my enclosed habitat/room/cage, it’s too loud. Put your headphones on. But seriously, some neighbors will call the cops, complain, yell at you, etc. So find out what the regulations are in your area, teach them to your teen, and teach them that a little respect for their neighbors goes a long way towards keeping the peace at home.
Barbeque. If there are traditions in your family regarding the barbeque, why not teach your teens? Soon enough they’ll be on their own and won’t it be nice for them to carry on a little piece of home via bbq traditions? Dads, trust your sons to flip those burgers or season the right way (well, guide them at least!). Moms, teach the girls how to stroke the men’s egos for their bountiful bbq prowess. (Yes, that was blatantly and unforgivingly sexist of me to say)
Enjoy your time as a family. Be safe, be joyous, and don’t tick off the neighbors.
Jul 03 2008
As promised long ago, I do want to do an occasional series on the systems that troubled teens may become involved in or utilize. I have a great deal of professional experience with these systems (aha! A benefit to the job-attention-deficit of my 20s!) and I hope my knowledge can be reassuring to parents dealing with these issues. One of my first jobs (and hardest!) out of college was working at a teen crisis shelter. I’ll admit to being unaware of how many of these there are throughout the country but the professional jargon for such places is usually “sheltercare.”
The crisis shelter I worked for was somewhat unique, though I hope lots more like it exist across the country. At this shelter, while we took referrals from professionals, we also targeted teens themselves and their parents.
The major selling point for both teens and parents: use us as a break from each other. Rather than Mom/Dad/Guardian getting so frustrated with the teen that they try to sign them over to the county or state (yes, people do this), we asked parents to voluntarily sign them in to our facility for a time-out period. Our shelter operated on a “roughly two weeks” schedule but this could be drastically reduced or increased, depending on the teen and family’s needs.
For teens, we could typically sell them on, “instead of breaking the law by running away and risking getting into more trouble, causing your family a lot of worry and heartache, and not being sure if you’re safe, come stay with us for awhile.” Sometimes this was still a difficult sell because coming into our facility was not like coming into a college dorm. These teens were not allowed to come and go as they pleased. They still had responsibilities and rules to follow that were usually more strict than what they had at home.
What sheltercare is not: babysitting. We did have parents who wanted to dump their kids off for the weekend while they ran out of town. Not acceptable. Don’t abuse non-profit facilities in this way. I can’t speak for other shelters but ours only charged other agencies, such as Department of Child Services or probation services. There was no charge to the parents, which means we relied heavily on grants and donations.
So if you and your teen are going through a struggle and need a time-out, try locating a teen shelter in your region. Oftentimes you can make an anonymous call at first, just to get information. You can also give the information to your teen in case they are threatening to run away and you’re worried sick about where they’ll end up.
Jul 02 2008
When your teen says they’re sick, do you flash back on “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”? Well, maybe not so much during the summer—unless they have summer school! Hopefully by now you know whether your teen is genuinely sick or just sick of day-to-day responsibilities. If not, though, here are some things to keep in mind the next time your teen wants to call out sick.
Remember that you want to prepare your teen for the “real world.” In the real, adult working world, most of do have some sick days. And sometimes, admit it, you’re not always sick when you call out. Sometimes these can be referred to as “mental health days”. If you have a teen that is hard-working 99% of the time and does well with an occasional brief break, why not let them have their little bluff illness day?
Mind you, I’m not advocating that you let them out of big responsibilities or anything like that, but if you know it’s a safe day for it and you know they’ll be better off with a break, it may not be the end of the world.
If, however, you have a teen that pulls the “I’m dying and need to stay home” routine far too often, without cause, then you need to really adopt a different stance. When I was working for a juvenile probation department, the rule with kids who liked to be truant (play hooky, be out sick too often, etc.) is that they must go to school each and every day. Once there, if the school nurse determined they were too sick to stay, then it would be an excused absence. Otherwise, they had to tough out the day.
On the flipside, be careful to monitor your teen’s activities if they are out for the day. You’d like to think they’re old enough that you can trust they’ll just stay at home and, if genuinely sick, be resting. But a phone call or two on the home landline won’t hurt (unless, of course, they’ve forwarded that line to their cell phones!). Even if you come home on your lunch break, it doesn’t have to be an obvious check-up. Bring them something you know would help them feel better and you’ll feel better, too, if you see they’re where they’re supposed to be!
Any other tips or lessons learned from sick teens? Drop me a line!
