Parenting Daily

Well, this questioned could be answered many different ways. But this blog is for parents of teens, so we’re going to focus on why being online is so fascinating for teens. (And some of it may apply to adults, too!)

Some parents think their teens seem absolutely obsessed and/or addicted to being online. Whether this is for the purposes of playing online games, chatting, IMing, emailing, or hanging out on certain sites… the ultimate reason is actually a social one.

Do you remember feeling socially awkward as a teen? If you don’t, you’re one of a lucky few. Teenage-dom is a tricky time. You’re coming into your own, but you’re not really sure what that means. You may be feeling emotions that you’ve never felt until now and can’t even put into words. The “best” part is, you’re 100% positive that NO ONE HAS EVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE.

As we age and mature, we find out that our experiences are usually not unique. Everyone has moments of feeling self-conscious, unsure of themselves, doubting of their decisions, and just plain not normal. But as teenagers, we just don’t know yet that everyone has those moments.

Add to that the invisible audience and wow! It’s a miracle any of us survive adolescence!

What’s the invisible audience? It’s that group of people who adolescents are *positive* that are watching their every move, evaluating their every action, thought, and fashion decision. Go ahead and try to convince them it doesn’t exist. I dare ya.

So one of the primary attractions of the internet is there’s no one looking right over their shoulders, standing in their vicinity, they can dress however they want, look however they want, etc. It makes them visibly invisible.

For some teens, this is a really empowering thing. They feel free to express their true selves online. For other teens, this gives them permission to show some aspect of their personality that they wouldn’t in every day society (i.e. the

Columbine
High School shooters from 1998).

As a parent, you need to stay involved. Know what your teen is doing online, know their user names, and know what sites they visit. Until you can assure yourself that they’re not compromising their safety, morals, values, future, etc., I don’t care what you do. Your first job is to protect them, so this is one privacy issue that I don’t care if you break. Repeatedly and for as long as you need to.

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